Singles Dating Tip: Learning How to Argue and Fight单身约会提示:学习如何争辩和斗争

约会提示单打

The best dating tip we could give最好的约会小费,我们可以 Christian singles seeking a dating relationship基督教单打寻求约会关系 is to learn how to fight.是学习如何战斗。 That may sound like whacky这可能听起来像发狂 dating advice约会建议 unless you know that the top reason both dating and married couples break up is a lack of communication in the area of conflict-resolution.除非你知道的首要原因都约会和已婚夫妇分手是一种缺乏沟通领域中解决冲突。

This is very important, so let me reiterate this这是非常重要的,所以请允许我重申这一 dating advice约会建议 a different way: Learning how to fight and argue successully is the best way to a lasting and happy dating and/or以不同的方式:学习如何打击和争辩successully是最好的方式实现持久和幸福的约会和/或 married relationship已婚的关系 . Why?为什么? Because conflict in this life is inevitable, so you better learn how to deal with it.由于在这一冲突是不可避免的生活,所以你更好地了解如何处理这一问题。

Single Christians单基督徒 who never learn the art of fighting and arguing will most likely fail in any谁从来没有学习艺术的战斗,认为最有可能在任何失败 romantic dating relationship浪漫的约会关系 they enter.他们进入。 This is true whether they seek a这是他们是否真正寻求 soulmate through an online通过在线 Christian dating service基督教约会服务 such as eHarmony, eHarmony , or any other way.或任何其他方式。

Additionally, ever meet that dating perfect match who looked so good together, and claim they never argue or fight?此外,以往任何时候都满足这一约会完美谁看上去那么好在一起,并声称他们从来没有争辩或打架吗? Don’t believe it.不要相信它。 That romance made in heaven will be headed south soon unless they acknowledge the reality of conflict and arguments, and learn how to fight.这浪漫在天堂将向南很快,除非他们承认现实的冲突和论点,并学习如何战斗。

Whether you are a single person already dating or only hoping to, the following无论你是一个人已经约会或只希望,下面 dating tips约会秘诀 on learning how to argue and fight will be helpful:在学习如何争论和斗争,将有助于:

Dating Tip 1: 约会提示1 :

Honestly and lovingly confront the problem, but leave out the personal attacks on your dating mate.诚实和慈爱地面对这个问题,但离开了人身攻击,您的约会伴侣。 If the argument or fight devolves into attacks on personhood, the battle (and possibly the dating relationship) has been lost.如果论点或打击落在到人格攻击,战斗(可能的约会关系)已经遗失。

Adam did this in the Garden after God confronted him with the problem of eating forbidden fruit.亚当没有这方面的花园后,他面对上帝的问题,吃禁果。 Instead of honestly acknowledging the problem, he put personal blame on both Eve and God: “This woman you put here with me-she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.” (Gen. 3:12)而不是诚实地承认这个问题,他把个人都归咎于夏娃和上帝: “这女人你把我在这里,她给了我一些水果树,和我吃。 ” (创3时12分)

Honestly addressing conflict sometimes means swallowing our pride by admitting we are part of the problem.老实说解决冲突的手段有时吞咽我们的骄傲承认我们是问题的一部分。 Ever wonder what God would have done if Adam honestly admitted his part?永远不知道上帝会做,如果亚当诚实地承认自己的一部分?

Dating Tip 2: 约会提示2 :

Listen to what the other person is actually trying to communicate.听听其他人实际上是试图沟通。 That means having earnest eye to eye contact as you open up your ears and heart, because communication can take place verbally, by action or这意味着,有真诚的看法与你打开你的耳朵和心脏,因为沟通可以在口头上,行动或 body language身体语言 . So, it’s important that you understand all these forms.因此,重要的是,你了解所有这些形式。

Many dating singles have a lack of communication in the area of conflict-resolution because they’re too busy thinking about their argument response rather than listening from the heart.许多约会单打都缺乏沟通领域中解决冲突,因为他们无暇思考自己的论点的回应,而不是听发自内心的。

Don’t forget there was a reason God (James 1:19) told us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.不要忘记还有一个原因是神(詹姆斯1时19分)告诉我们必须迅速地听着,慢说话,慢成为愤怒。 He wrote it in part to help us avoid the pain of making further jackasses out of ourselves.他写这部分帮助我们避免的痛苦作出进一步jackasses了自己。 This is what happens when we are clueless and careless about what others are thinking and feeling.这是会发生什么变化,我们无言以对,不小心什么其他的想法和感受。 Which brings us to our next tip.这使我们对我们的下一代小费。

Dating Tip 3: 约会提示3 :

Rephrase your boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s feelings and words back to them.改写你的男友或女友的感情和文字还给他们。 Rephrasing accomplishes several important things:改写完成几个重要的事情:

1) It’s lets your date know that you are really listening, and are in touch with their feelings. 1 )它可以让您的日期知道你是真的听,并联系自己的感情。

2) It ensures you that there is no mis-communication. 2 )确保你没有错沟通。 Afterall, if you have to have a fight with your date, make sure you are arguing over the same things.毕竟,如果你必须有一个与您的斗争之日起,请确定您是争论同样的事情。

Here’s an example: “Sue, what I hear you saying is that you are feeling upset and hurt that I went out with the boys instead of with you Saturday night.下面是一个例子: “苏,我听到你说的是,你的感觉破坏和伤害,我出去的男孩而不是与你星期六晚上。 It makes you feel sad that I would rather be with them than you.它使你感到难过,我宁愿与他们比你。 Is that right?” Sue’s response back will then give you further information on how to address the problem at hand.是吗? “休的反应后就会给你进一步的资料如何处理手头上的问题。 Of course, if a rolling pin pops out at this time, you may want to run to the hills!当然,如果一个滚动的脚跳出了在这个时候,你可能要去运行的山丘!

Dating Tip 4: 约会提示4 :

Commit to solving the problem together, which often calls for compromising on the non-essentials.致力于解决问题的合作,这往往需要妥协的非必需品。 This also means going over “fighting ground rules” with your dating partner before a conflict actually arises.这也意味着将超过“战斗规则”与您约会前合伙人实际发生冲突。 It may sound silly now, but it will save you heartbreak in the future.这听起来愚蠢的,但它将为您节省心碎的未来。

Some suggested helpful dating ground rules on problem solving together:一些有益的建议约会规则解决问题的组合:

1) Putting a time limit on “the silent treatment” and/or anger. 1 )把一个时限的“沉默的待遇”和/或愤怒。 Remember, the Scriptures in Ephesians 4:26 encourages you to “not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” It’s your choice, but prolonged anger will destroy any romance in a hurry.请记住,圣经以弗所书4点26分在鼓励你“不要让阳光下去,而你还在生气。 ”这是您的选择,但长期的愤怒将摧毁任何浪漫着急。

2) Winning an argument should never be the goal, but 2 )赢得争论绝不应该的目标,但 forgiveness宽恕 and reconcilation is.与和解。

Overall, please understand that you do not have to agree on every little issue.总之,请理解,你没有同意每一个小问题。 In fact, could you imagine how boring that would be?事实上,你能想象镗将?

Finally, even if not currently dating, singles can still benefit from these dating tips by going over scenarios on how they would react in given circumstances in the future.最后,即使目前没有约会,单打仍然可以受益于这些提示年代进入了情景他们将如何反应,在特定情况下的未来。

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3 comments 3评论

  1. jane :

    great tips.伟大的小费。 thank you谢谢您

  2. liz : liz

    thank goodness there was a website that offered more advice than just “sex b4 marriage is bad” i agree, but when u use a search engine its annoying to see the obvious and no real tips on arguing感谢上帝,有一个网站,提供更多的意见不仅仅是“性三烯B4婚姻是坏的”我同意,但是当u使用搜索引擎的恼人地看到显而易见的,没有真正的秘诀争论

  3. Jane Briggs : 简布里格斯

    Thank you for that advice on how to argue and fight.谢谢你的意见如何争论和斗争。 I needed to read that.我需要读的。 I live in Salt Lake City Utah and would like to meet some Christian friends.我住在盐湖城犹他,并想以满足一些基督教的朋友。



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