Christian Singles Secrets
Many Christian singles walk around with the burden of carrying personal secrets bottled up deep in their hearts. Whether the secrets are unconfessed sexual sins, painful memories, regrets, shame-filled experiences or totally whacked out thoughts, God did not design us to deal with such raw issues by ourselves.
From the Garden, the Lord created mankind for intimate fellowship with no room for secrets. Adam’s hiding from God after eating of the fruit is the Bible’s first recorded secret. Do you ever wonder what God would have done if Adam and Eve confessed their little “secret” instead of hiding from their Lord? Anyway, we have been keeping secrets ever since, with negative consequences for ourselves and our relationships with others.
The Bible has a neat answer to secret keeping: It’s called confession. Over and over in Scripture, we see see a connection between honest confession and spiritual, emotional and physical healing:
- If you confess your sins to God, He promises forgiveness and spiritual cleansing (1 John 1:9).
- Lack of confession leads to physical and emotional turmoil; honest acknowledgement to God brings relief of guilt (Psalms 32-2-5).
- While only God can forgive, He wants us to confess our sins to each other so that we may pray for each other and experience healing (James 5:6)
Only recently has modern psychology caught up with the Bible in terms of connecting private confession with physical, emotional and spiritual wellbeing. Dr. James Pennebaker, psychology professor at Southern Methodist University, documents a study which found that confessing our secrets can be good for the soul, lower blood pressure, lessen depression and increase your general sense of wellbeing.
There is certainly no reason why we should not confess our secrets to our Lord, who loves (John 3:16) and sympathizes with us despite knowing all about us (Hebrews 4:13-15).
Despite the fact that confession leads to healing, there are many reasons why single Christians fail to confess secrets to others, whether they be a lack of an appropriate outlet, fear, embarrassment or unreal expectations from our own churches.
In light of the above, you are invited to confess your secrets anonymously to Christian-Dating-Service-PLUS. We don’t need to know your name in order to have our single Christian readers pray for you. You will never be contacted unless you desire followup prayer and counsel. Our prayer is that we will all be encouraged by each other’s words.
There are several ways to post your secrets or confession:
- Simply leave a written comment right on this post
- E-mail us your written or recorded post secret via a mp3 file.
- If you only have a CD, we will provide you with an appropriate address to mail your post secret.
Note: Any audio recording will be aired over our radio station and/or podcasted through our site.
[...] If you are a Christian teen/Christian single girl or guy who doesn’t feel like speaking with someone, but would like to make a secret confession, or just write about how you feel, you can e-mail us on this site. [...]
i cheated on my first real boyfriend once when i was 17, then if i hadn’t learnt my lesson i had a secret relationship with my best friends former love interest for six months, in the several years that i’ve been dating, i feel like i’ve done such a bad thing that i’ll never find a true love after trying so hard..
Dear Liz:
Thanks for `sharing your heart. Okay, you made some mistakes…Hey, we all have secret sins. The important thing to remember is that Jesus promises to forgive and cleanse us from all the crap. So….ask for help (1John 19), forget your past and expect great things from your Saviour. Okay?
Dear Liz:
The Holy Blood of Jesus Christ will cleanse all your past sins and mistakes. Jesus don’t care about it because He already paid for it in The Mount of Calvary. At once you accept Jesus Christ as your savior and master (John 1:12) you’re a child of God and you are eligible for all the blessings of Abraham. You will find your true love in your life and your life will be happier in Jesus Name. What you had to do is to confess Jesus as your savior and Master. Then the things will start to change. Be cheerful
Let me just begin by saying that I Love God so much that it hurts me that I hurt him with my sinful lust. I have tried everything possible to get rid of it but it always seems to take back over. I’m tired of it…What do i do? My friends have very well matured in their walk with Christ and I cannot imagine revealing something like this to them. I am so ashamed and Ii do not know what else to do…
Hello,
I was browsing the Internet when I came across your website. Out of curiosity, I decided to look into it a little further. I checked it out, and, for the most part, I agree with what you have stated. The “Christian Singles†page addresses the ethical problems faced by people today & is a great help to any who would take Christianity seriously.
The first subject that I decided to check out was pornography. This is a problem that I myself struggle with at times, but not like I used to. At the age of 25½, I let the burden of my sins be borne by someone else, as I could not do so before the judgment of God. Accepting Christ as the Savior of sinners was the one thing that I wish that I had done sooner. I am 35 years old now, and have been on my own for about 10 years. For 9½ of them, however, I have to admit that I have not always met the moral standards of the Christian life.
This problem of porn hasn’t gone away entirely. There will always be the temptation to do the wrong thing. I think the best way for anyone to deal with this
type of thing is to have accountability partner(s) with whom he can share ideas, problems, feelings, etc. There is one thing that I do know for sure; trying to deal with a problem alone is far more difficult than sharing your burden with someone. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter. Keep up the good work.
S.B.,
First of all, thank you for honestly sharing. I have dated men with similar issues to the one you are battling and I have had difficulty understanding. Second of all, I will pray for your deliverance. Third, I wanted to address a couple of your questions:
1. Yes, I agree that men are stimulated by what they see and women are stimulated by movies, books, etc. However, I have noticed an alarming trend of the enemy’s to give women equal opportunity to become ensnared in the trap of pornography. Just look at any Abercrombie and Fitch store window or catalog or the Tag Body Spray commercial. The message the media is sending to women is is similar to the one it is sending to men. As Christians, we need to stand against this trend. We are in this world, but not of this world.
2. Yes, attractive women know they are attractive. Actresses/models are getting paid to entice you to desire them and to entice women to want to be like them (desirable). However, I believe that many women are hurt by participating in these acts of enticement. God made us in His image. We are beautifully and wonderfully made. We were not meant to give away our sexuality to the masses. It is special and meant to be shared with our husband (God’s best for us) within HOLY matrimony (a covenant between a man, a woman, and GOD). Many women do not understand that sexuality is God-given and should be treated with great care and respect. Sex is a holy union… a gift from God. Too many people cheapen it and hurt themselves and others.
May the Holy Spirit work wonders of healing within you,
Rhonda
I am writing to confess my sins per James 5:6. I am a Christian single. I have never been married. I practice and teach abstinence until marriage to teen girls. I had sex outside of marriage once when I was 22 years old, before I was saved, and have not done so again since–over 15 years ago. I dated occasionally after my conversion; however, shortly thereafter, it was like God all of a sudden placed an “A” for abstinent on my forehead and men stopped looking my way! Although, I am a gregarious person and I have a lot of friends and associates, I have not been on a date in years–literally since 1993!
Lately, I have a longing to be married and intimate with my husband. I have never had such strong desires in this regard. I have always wanted to get married and have a family and have left it in God’s hands to work it out in His timing and in His way. I do not know if it is my biological clock or what, but lately my thought life has been bombarded with thoughts of being married and having sex with my husband. Please note that I avoid TV and movies with sexual content. And, this is what I am writing to confess–these thoughts which have also lead me to masturbate. And, I am very displeased with myself and embarrassed because I am typically very self-controlled; and, I know these thoughts/fantasies led me to such sin. In addition, to my confession to my sisters and brothers in Christ, I have confessed this to the Father and I ask for your prayers. Thank you for your ministry and I will pray for you all as well.
Dear brothers and sisters:
Thank you for your honest sharing…I could only wish there was this level of confessing and sharing in our churches…
The bottom line here is that we are all sinners in need of a Saviour…As we pray for each other..His Pirit will work in our lives…Please be encouraged…
David
I have been dating the girl of my dreams for two years now. She has always had a strong belief in Christianity and I believe she is my soul mate. I have never loved anyone more and I need her more then ever in my life right now, with everything that is going on. She has always believed in passing on premarital sex. Such a belief was definitely difficult for me to come to agreement with, but I did, because I love her more than anything.
We have been somewhat sexually active since we starting dating though, just no intercourse. I love her more than anything, and holding her in my arms at night is a feeling I have ever felt before. I have had sex before in a previous relationship and she knows that, but that doesn’t affect us.
She is one of the best things in my life and when I have her in my arms, it feels so right. My mind and conscious can finally come to rest from everything. While she has been in Italy though, she has decided that our presexual acts can no longer go on. She say’s that she can no longer sleep in my bed because she would be too tempted with her desires.
I don’t know if I can continue to date a girl that won’t sleep in my arms. This is something that I feel like I need and feel strongly about. I know she is my soul mate and the women I want to marry, but right know is not the time. I want to finish college and establish a steady job so that I can support a family with her before marriage. Never mind the fact that her father is so strict I can’t even imagine him saying yes. Don’t get me wrong, he likes me, I just feel that he has sheltered his children so much through life, and it’s tuff for me to picture him letting them go.
So the final point of this is I really don’t think I can date a woman for the next two years, if she feels guilty about sleeping in the arms of the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with. That just doesn’t seem right to me. I have sacrificed premarital sex as long as a lot of other things for her love, but this just might be too much.
(Besides the Christian answer that I am going to get, what do you think personally?)
One thing I have struggled relenlessly with is the idea of forgiveness. Is it good enough to ask God’s forgiveness and forgiveness of the one who you commited sin with? Do we have to make public confession to everyone? It is extremely difficult to confess to people, because they will make an embarassment of you, and you lose so much, just because you want to have a clear conscious. I feel sometimes I have no place to turn, except to God’s throne. Is public confession for mere external exposure, or does it grant you a closer walk with the Lord. I would say, most people desire a closer walk with the Lord, but does not confessing it to others hinder your walk?
Hi pray for me I am saved and 36 yrs and caught up with an affiar with a married man .ps help me cleanse and pray for me
hi my name is David I have been married 3 times my wife now doesn’t give me any sex because she had a total histerextomy and is left with a bllood clot in her left leg she her dr. cannot give her any medcatio for her sex drive. when i was single and lonely i looked at porn male and female i look at porn malle and female but i don’t want to tell my wife about male porn because she’ll think im gay. all i every waanted is to have a wife to have good sex wife with good sex with now i have this guilt about this gay stuff which i have to get off my chest. i look at other women but with not comment any more sins i can get rid of the guilt that i looked at male porn all i want is to have sex with my wife. she doesn’t even touch me im going crazy. i repented for my sins but the guilt is eating me up.
David
l need special prayer l have daughter is 3 l never married and l was rape by a married man who was negeria man l know santan want to destory my life but in the name of jesus l can rise now that marriage must come first and a family l want to meet that special person who beleive in marriage in God creation. please send me more information on christian single parent dating services
Hi I admit I have sinned I’ve stolen, and tried to hurt my mom with a knife. I haven’t gone to confession, and all this happened years ago when I was in elementary school. Is confession necessary to be cleansed and saved from hell? I pray almost every day to be forgive for my past sins, I am even going to start praying the holy rosary, but I don’t have an actually rosary but I have a cross. Will that work? Please pray for me, and reply back to my message when you can. I appreciate it very much. Thank you and God Bless.
From, Amy
Dear Amy:
Thanks for being so real and sharing. In 1 John 1:9, God’s word says: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” That’s it! For a further understanding of how to become a Christian and avoid hell, please see:
http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/how-to-become-a-christian/
I was with him for a year and a half. He looked at me as a spiritual rolemodel. We were such great Christians in the Lord together, or whatever you would call it. We started struggling a little bit physically for a while. we were ashamed and sorry so we refrained from doing ANYthing. It all sort of built up and one night, out of nowhere, we just had sex. It didnt feel wrong though. It felt romantic. So two days later we did it again…afterwards it felt more wrong than anything. I was so ashamed and sorry. He was even MORE ashamed and sorry. Eventually he broke up with me, apologizing all the while for taking something so special from me. He started cutting, I begged him to stop, and now he’s drinking. I feel like his drinking is my fault. He has gone so far off the deep end, and my worry and guilt are about to eat me alive. I found a random youth pastor on the internet to try to ask him for help, for counsel. He told me i had put nails in the coffin of my relationship with God, and that I was a terrible sinner.
My Dear Anna:
First off, let me just say thank you for sharing your heart secret sins. We love you and are praying for your healing, as well as that of your friend. Now, let’s get some facts straight:
1)You DON’T have to “put nails in the coffin of your relationship with God” because Jesus took enough nails for EVERY sin we all every committed. Instead, please claim the wonderful forgiveness as found in 1 John 1:9. After that, walk with your head held high, knowing that you are clean.
2)You are NEVER responsible for another person who chooses to do something harmful to themselves.
3)Note to readers: I say the following in love, and if I lose readers, so be it: That youth pastor is acting like a donkey (I believe the KJV word is ass), and needs to understand the nature of God’s mercy and love. In my view he is doing more harm to Christian teens than helping them. There! I said it, and it feels good!
Anna-Keep in touch. Remember-confess your secret sins-accept forgiveness-walk uprightly in the joy of knowing your Jesus did it all for you.
David
PS: Here is a following resource for Christian Teens with secrets:
http://christian-dating-service-plus.com/blog/christian-teens-dating-and-sex.html
Brothers and Sisters in Christ, I’ve got save like at 14 or 15 years old and I lived a life that was pleasing in his sight to the best of my ability. When I went off to school all kinds of things went on that kind of strayed me away my first year. I met a guy on line who was like 17 years older than me and though I never met him I received his phone number and we talked every night. I do believe that is when the sexual sins begin in my mind. I am a virgin and will remain one until marriage, but the guilt of having these wrongful thoughts is just to much. I’ve asked God to forgive me time and time again and yet they somehow still come to my mind. This man use to tell me what he would do to me and how he would do it and that got in my spirit. Then I started watching all kinds of crazy movies and shows that had sexual impurities with males and females in them and then that got my mind rolling more. I’m 22, I have now stop watching things that will make my mind go to that, but lately it still does. At night, I can be thinking about having sex with my husband and then it will go to my boyfriend, then a girl, then back and forward. I love God with all that’s within me and now one knows about this and when i saw the sight and read the comments, I knew I had to finally tell someone and let this go. Because I don’t want to keep holding on to it. Please pray with me that the devil will be defeated and I will pass this test. Thank you soo much.
[This is a serious situation and it contains information that some might be disgusted with but it's all true and I would appreciate true advice on this because I can't really talk about this with anyone I know in person.
Background info about me:
I'm college aged, I've been a "serious" Christian for about 2 years but was "saved" about 5 years ago...I am closer to God now than I have ever been.
Here's something I've been thinking about a lot, but praying about a little only b/c I don't really know what exactly I should pray about.
So about 4 years ago, I was talking to a fellow Christian online who was in a Christian band as well. We'll call him Tom.
We talked online for a long time, you know just casual stuff.
Eventually, I started talking to the drummer in his band...we'll call him Bill.
So Tom has a serious girlfriend but he casually asked me if I wanted to see a picture of his penis. So I casually say sure and for the past 4 years it was an on and off thing for us to talk..."dirty" to each other. I know, it's repulsive and honestly I thought I would NEVER tell anyone this. But there's a serious reason why I am.
As I talked to Bill about 3 years ago, he had asked me the same thing and about 3 or 4 times our conversation took a turn in the same direction as Tom's. Again, I know this is gross.
Well, 4 years ago, I had also started talking to another band member...we'll call him Gavin. Our conversations were completely opposite. They were wholesome and friendly and fun. I ended up becoming extremely close to Gavin but as best friends only. We told each other everything and he knows EVERYTHING about me but this one thing. Well I moved to the state he lives in, and not for any reason other than to hang out with everyone and what not. Gavin is still my best friend...but a few months ago I fell hard for him. I'm head over heels and we're so close, I expressed this to him.
He told me that he wishes he was romantically interested b/c we are pretty much perfect for each other...so he doesn't want to say "no we can't be together." Well this is all fine and well now. At first I had trouble accepting this b/c I like him sooo much and as said before we're perfect for each other. But the Lord lifted nearly all my burdens and I feel more comfortable with the fact I'm not with him. However, since I'm holding onto this hope that one day we MIGHT be together (I'm not dwelling on it, but it IS still a possibility), I have been pondering about the lying vs. withholding information thing.
Let's say he does become romantically interested...that would be awesome and we'd make a great couple. But this is something I could and would never tell him. I could never tell him that I had the most disgusting and repulsive conversations with his friends/bandmates. Never. Not ONLY b/c it would make ME look bad, but b/c he'd be incredibly crushed. So this is what I'm asking.
Is it sinful for me to keep this information from him? It happened in the "past" and it won't ever happen again, I've learned from it, etc...But if we end up together would it be sinful for me to not tell him about it?
What do you think? I am in desperate need of advice.
Thanks so much.
I’m still stuck on the fact that is is a Christian band? Wow!
Jessica:
We all have sins in the past that we are embarrassed of. If it’s under the blood of Jesus and it has not affected your relationship, why bring up old bones?
I am a thirty year old christian female virgin, who struggles with mind masturbation, and porn. I don’t know how it entered my life or remember when. I have been struggling with this for a long time. I don’t know what to do. Every day I struggle with feels that I want to be in a relationship, but God has not blessed me with that, and I think it is because of what I am doing in secret. Everyday it seems as though my body is on fire, if I hear or see anything that has to do with sex I become aroused at once. I don’t want to live this way anymore, I want to be able to be normal again, to get rid of these sexual desires, and images in my head. I also have a guy friend who I know is not a christian telling me it is okay to masturabate, I have also masturbated online with him talking in a certain way. He keeps telling me it is natural, but I feel so ashamed, dirty, and lonely. I do have a friend who is also a male who is a christian and very wise. I want to talk with him about what I am going through but I don’t want him to stop talking to me after he finds out. Please help I have been up all night crying and trying to find what to do.
Divine:
The best way to feel pure is to speak to another Christian via phone or face to face, where you can actually hear a human voice. Fellowship with other believers is imperative to our walk with Christ! Pray for forgiveness and strength from God to help you make it through each day and ask Him to help you be more like Him. Also, admitting to God that you are struggling is ok! He knows we are imperfect and born in sin, but His ways are not ours. Pray for strength to confess your sin to your friend, and you can also pray that He gives your friend guiding and understanding of your problem. Having a sexual desire is not wrong, it is healthy, but you must remember that what you see and surround yourself with is what you will become. “Garbage in, garbage out.” If you are truly determined to rid yourself of your sexual desires, you must force yourself to be around things that are of God. Just try one day at a time. For example, tell yourself that for one hour of everyday you will not look, listen, or speak of sexual things…you can take your mind off of your desires by watching something (tv, movies,etc) that are of a pure a wholesome nature. It takes time, patience, and effort to change our ways. BUT the best part of it all is that Jesus has already taken away all of our sins. The bible says in Psalm 103:12 that “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west”. Therefore do not be ashamed of your shortcomings, bc He does not expect perfection, all He asks is for us to have faith and put forth a true effort. I hope I have been helpful to you and know that regardless of your sins, in Jesus’s eyes you are a beautiful, innocent, and pure soul.
Well, I am a 20 year old who was raised in church and taught that sexual impurity and premarital sex is a sin. When I was 17 I had premarital sex for the first time and continued to until I was 19 years old. I have not had sex since then but I have struggled with habitual masturbation, porn addiction, and my boyfriend and I struggle as well. We have not had sex but we continually struggle and it has been hard to say no. I know God has something better planned for me and I know that this is not a way to live because I feel depressed when I struggle like this. I don’t know how to overcome it…and it is really starting to affect my life. Please pray for me.
Hi, i thought i would give this ago and get this stuff off my chest. I am 20yrs old and i have believed in God most of my life. From the age 15 i have been addicted to masturbation and pornography and i have had sex with a few female partners over the years. At first it was fun and pleasing but now i feel empty and ashamed.I have stopped having sex but keep going back to the masturbation and porn and each time feel worse afterwards. I would just like some advice on the situation and prayer. thank you.
Steve:
Thanks for the honest sharing.God is looking at your heart, and you appear to want to do the right thing. Outside of God’s design, sex IS fun, but empty. But this struggle is life long, so get used to it. Realizing who you are in Jesus, and what He offers can go a long way. Also, why not form a men’s singles group centered on sexual temptation. Sharing with others is quite helpful. We are praying for you. Let us know how you are doing.
i have struggled with porn a lot recently… and Ii am trying to stop it all for good through the power of Christ… please pray for me and my sins.
Thanks for your posting your secrets and we are praying for you…
My problem is not one of an inability to confess or ask God’s forgiveness. My problem, rather, is that when I confessed my sins to the woman I love she has not been able to forgive me. I’ll start with the sins I have committed. I am a 24 year old male, I have always believed in God, and all the way from the time i was a child through high school I did everything I could to live a good and righteous life. I did not drink, smoke, have sexual relations, etc. But when I got to college my life changed, I went from a fairly consevative upbringing to one of the most liberal schools in the country 1000 miles from anyone I knew. I fell in with many unbelievers and over time i began to question my faith in God. I turned away from God’s will for 4 years, during that time engaging in many sins, but perhaps the worst being those of sexual immorality. I the age of 19 I began a 2.5 year relationship with a woman who did not believe in God, and I was eventually stripped of my moral beliefs. I questioned God’s existence and wondered why I even tried to live righteously. I rationalized it believing that I wasnt hurting anyone, that the decisions I made didnt affect anyone but me and her. We eventually began a sexual relationship outside of marriage and despite the tremendous guilt I felt at first I continued on and eventually the guilt gave way to just not caring anymore. By the time this relationship ended I was a shell of my former self and I began another relationship with an unbeliever. Again we engaged in sexual activity and more because of lust than love we began talking of marriage, then suddenly, everything in my life came crashing down. This girl left me without so much as a reason why and at the time I was lower than I had ever been. I contemplated why I should even go on living. I hated myself. And then almost as suddenly as everything came crashing down I got back up. See after a few months of severe depression I picked up a Bible and started reading it. I found comfort in the words about God’s forgiveness of even the most wretched sinners if they are willing to repent their sins and I began looking at life in a new perspective. i prayed for God’s forgiveness and started living my life in the way commanded by the Bible. Despite my renewal of faith however, I still carried the burdens of my past. That is where my current girlfriend comes in. She is a very religious person, a member of the Church of Christ raised on the Bible in a good home with a wonderful family. Her faith is exceeding abundant. I believe that everything in our relationship is right with God, and that God put her in my life to show me His true will. After dating only a short time I decided to be baptised for the remission of my sins and amazingly I no longer felt the burdens of my past suffocating me, for the first time in 4 years I felt that all was right in my life with God. I truly believe that God has forgiven me my past and I have been born again, much like the prodigal son I was lost, but now I have come back to God. Which brings me to last night. Up until then I had not fully shared the details of my past with my girfriend. I believe my reasoning behind this was that I was embarrassed of my past and the time had never seemed right. She knew that I had dated unbelievers in the past and she asked me a simple question, “How did you go from dating to me?” A simple question, but with a long and difficult answer. I decided the time was finally right to confess to her the iniquities of my past. Knowing that this would be a difficult topic to discuss I began by telling her how ashamed I am of my past, and how I am no longer the person that committed these actions. I told her that I believe that God has forgiven my for what I have done, and above all I believe that when I was baptized i believe that my soul was born again, and that even though the earthen vessel which carries me through this life was the same that committed these acts the soul that dwells within is a new person. When I finally told her of the sexual immorality that I had committed her reaction wsa somewhat a surprise to me. We had spoken many times about forgiving the sins of those who harm us and how we are to forgive 70×7 times those who do us wrong, and moreover how it is not our place to judge the wrongs of other people, for by doing so so will we be judged even worse by God. But when I told her what i had done, two years before we had even met none the less, she told me that she is not sure she will be able to forgive me for this. She said she believes that I am right with God, but she doesnt know if she can accept my sins. We ended the conversation promising to try to work through this difficult time together and after we finished our talk, knowing that there was no way i was going to sleep I spent the majority of the night praying for God to give us wisdom and if it is His will to let us overcome this obstacle. I love this girl with all of my earthly heart and I believe she is truly a blessing from God. I know times will be difficult but can you provide any advice and please keep us in your prayers? God bless you!
My secret sin is I do not feel beautiful unless someone is looking at me sexually.I have done things sexually that are despicable just so others would think I was cool or different or to make them love me. I’m addicted to sexual things
I am a 24 year old single female. My secret sine is this: Our church is extremely strict, and I’ve been taught to keep myself pure until marriage. I have never had sex, but I struggle with habitual masturbation and reading erotic stories online. Every time it happens, I cry to God, ask for his forgiveness and try to cleanse myself, but I still feel unworthy. I keep on falling into the same trap over and over. I want to live a pure and holy life for Him. I am also at an age where I really want to get married and have a family but I have feelings that God is somehow punishing me for my actions. Please pray for me so I can overcome this and serve God with my entire being.
I am 46 and I have problems dealing with my temper especially when try to stop masturbating. Perhaps this is caused by guilt or being able to forgive my past. But I do desire to live a chaste life i.e. to overcome this habit and learn to live a more spiritual life.
My secret post is that I ave a chronic problem with Masturbation over many years and it has gone too far masturbating with other people on camera for the last few months, i know it is wrong but i have fallen so far and trapped.
I am 15. I have been in the church since I was 3 with a foster family. I live with my dad now. I got saved last year. I am having a very hard struggle with homosexuality, bisexual how can I work that out with God? I also have a very hard struggle with sex how do I keep from having the encounters? I have always had a battle with drugs alcahol and nicotene addiction I have been doing well but how do I keep from submitting to the temptations?
I have been a christian all my life (25 now) and am ashamed that I gave in to both masturbation and oral sex before marriage as I always believed I would be pure unti marriage. I feel as if I have failed and have given away a treasure God had bestowed upon me to share with my furture wife. I appreciate your prayers.
This is scary stuff. Are you sure that the USA is the nation that should be “leading” the world. Are you people actually normal? You really should travel a bit more and see what “normal” really means! This is religious fundamentalism at its most extreme. Nature is God and God is nature. Get real, embrace the environment not a symbolic figure that was created to control you. Please do feel free to contact me for further liberation :-).
I have been dealing with a pornography/masturbation addiction for the past 9 years now. Used to be almost daily but with God’s help it’s gotten much better. Everytime I do it I feel like i’ve destroyed my relationionship with God. Why I keep doing it, I don’t know. I’m getting so tired of disappointing Him but I feel as if it will always be this way.
I am surprised by the level of honesty here. I have had many sexual problems in my life as well. I have been divorced and I believe the sole cause was because I wasn’t strong in staying away from porn and the shame I carried for having premarital sex with my wife. Sad to say, things are beyond repair with my ex, but I still hope for a meaningful relationship with a woman one day. I ask for prayer since I’m on a deployment right now that I find friends and people I can confide in to help me with my porn problems and the great loneliness I feel inside at not having a woman in my life. May I find peace in Jesus and learn to be content as a person. Please I ask lift me up for I fear falling back into old habits and the black hole in my soul. Thanks!
I am heartbroken but just broke up with my unsaved boyfriend of 1 year. We had fallen in to sexual sin and also having intercourse in non-traditional ways and I also struggled with masturbation. I have repented and I know it is God’s will for me to live a pure life and marry a Godly man. Please pray for me to be strong and grow in the Lord during this difficult time.
Dear Guys:
We are praying for all of you right now. the Lord is going to honor your heart sharing, and remember it’s not where you are, but what direction you are not headed in.
David
http://oasis-church-nj.com/
i am feeling heart-broken, after
the break up of a relationship of over 5 months with a guy i really liked. what started off well turned physical and from then on the pain of sexual arousal became a reality that made me miserable and isolated as i struggled in masturbation and depression alone, with noone to open up to. now that the relationship is past i see how i missed out on a great period of my life. i’m struggling with lust, masturbation and regret. when i speak to old good friends, i feel miserable because we’re not all pure anymore and i can’t tell them about the utterly stupid and secret life i lived for that time. as i pursue restored fellowship with God, not shallow as before, i feel i don’t deserve it, because of my secret sins and insincerity that let me attend church and listen to christian music, while at the same time having an unwholesome relationship. i also feel bad for not breaking up before and also leading the guy into sin.
My beatiful wife of 13 years died in my arms 3 months ago due to cancer. I was with her every step of the way and she died in my arms. We are both strong Christains and were faithful until “death due us part”. Yesterday, for the first time, a woman neighbor who is very attracted to me it seems came by the house now that I am single again and one thing led to another and we had sex. Even thought she is not married and techicnially I am no longer married either, I am feeling both sinful and betrayal. Sinful of course becasue I had sex outside of marriage, (which I know is wrong) and betrayal to my wife. What I need is to confess my sin of having sex outside of marriage, which is a no-no.
Hi there,
really need to confess this situation as I just feel that it’s such a hinderance to me and my relationship with my saviour.
I’ve been a Christian for 10 years, I’m 26 years old, black woman from the UK. I am a virgin, and I’ve always been happy being a Christian and trying my best to serve God in spirit and in truth and to minister and encourage others in His Word.
My situation is that I masturbate, I want to hate the sin, and I pray about it, and I’ve fasted about it, but I still end up doing it. I’m very distressed about this, because it’s something I long to be delivered from. I long to hate the sin, and cry once I’ve done it, but I know it’s a stronghold. Any prayers, or scriptures to guide me would be greatly appreciated.
Please pray THat I submit to the will of GOd in my relationship. My boyfriend struggles with Lust, even thinking about romantic encounters with his past relationships.It is quite painful………
Hi, I am dating a man who was raised conservatively but shys away from total “bible thumping”. I am attracted to his morals, passion and expressiveness, and I don’t find myself attracted to guys from church because they often seem repressed or boring to me. He and I seem to have a number of things in common and have good chemistry. We both say we’re “not in a hurry”, and I’m praying that we will be able to wait for sex. That we can build a deep spiritual connection. I do know that passion and physical touch are things we both really need, and sex is an important, integral part of a healthy marriage. Christian marriages can sometimes end because they don’t talk about their sexual needs– could be because they were so repressed about expressing their needs and desires in a sensitive way.
Please pray for God to shape our conversations and interactions in such a way that we will move simultaneously toward God and each other. I have a feeling he could be thinking “long-term”, even though we’ve only gone out a couple of times so far. The connection feels strong and we really enjoy each other. I get the feeling he would like to touch and explore more, as I believe he is motivated by wanting to please me, not just himself. Touch is definitely a love language for both of us. I just pray that he will be drawn to God through as many sources as possible in the coming weeks and months without him feeling like I just want to change him. I want him to feel this natural pull towards God and me, and have seeds of His love planted in his heart. His name is David.
Praying for you guys. Please return the favor.
I’m in the ministry, and had spent years of faithful celibacy in very patient waiting for the right woman (now 34). However, the last 1.5 years or so - I just flat out rebelled. I was just mad at God’s inaction towards my desires and needs and basically knowlingly slipped into sin with porn. It crept it’s way in. Sports articles had links to booky websites, which had adds to laddie magazines, which had links to soft porn, which had links to uglier stuff. It took months, but I eventually (usually with a tone of - ahh, just want to see what kind of stuff people are getting hooked on) fell. Before I knew it, I was visiting those sites myself.
Now, I’ve met her. She is worth every minute of the wait - and I’m so disapponted in myself for having given up the good fight just months before meeting her. When she entered my life, I snapped into shape and went months without even a desire to look at the wrong stuff.. But, I had a tough week, was stressed, and ended up binging on some porn. I’m in unbelief at my actions and losing faith in myself. I’m repentant but scared that my heart has become caloused. I know God can deliver me, and can allow me to be intimate and share my soul with her but I feel I’ve built a wall to hide the ugliness of my slip ups. I to feel washed in grace, need to be freed.
Hi,
I am 27 years old, A born again Christian living in kenya.
I have dated for 6 years a lady who loves THE LORD JESUS CHRIST SO MUCH. However, for that last one year, we have been caressing, kissing and exciting each other sexually. Last week we fell into sexual sin and in a span of a week we did it thrice. We repented of it in all the occassions but now we both need urgent prayer and help since i am not too sure if she visits my house we shall be safe. we dont want to engage in this sinful act again. please pray with us.
Several years ago I was struggling a LOT with sexual sin in relationships and masturbation and sexual fantasies, etc. but the Lord really delivered me (I was a christian through this time) and brought me to a place where I was only satisfied with Him and disgusted with the thought of my old sinful habits. I barely even had desire to do those things for the past 4 years since my deliverance. Sure, I fell occassionally, but few and far between and I repented and got right back up. But lately for the past 3 months I have been struggling with masturbation, sex fantasies, etc. to the point that it is almost addictive and difficult to control. I know that this is sin even in small amts. but I just feel like…powerless…even though I know the power of Christ lives in me. Every DAY I recite scripture and pray and repent and ask for the Holy Spirit’s empowerment..and say I will be obedient and that I need to deny myself this pleasure, but as soon as I feel the slightest bit of “turned on” (and sometimes this doesn’t even take me trying to get this way) I feel like I have to “take care of it”. HELP! I have been praying for my husband to come along for years, (I am almost 22) and I don’t wnat to marry just anyone, but someone who really loves the Lord and lives life centered on the gospel…when will I find him so I can give in to all these awful cravings? (although then it will be a HOLY craving
Please pray for me and my freedom from bondage.
Hi to all on this site, I am so thankful that I am not alone in the sins of the flesh and know how it feels we have let ourselves down and our Lord and Saviour. I know I have fallen so much from grace over these past few years, but I want to do what is right, but temptation is always there waiting!! Please pray for me as well, we are all in this together, and may I say what a wonderful ministry you have David.
Hi…I am a 24 year old Christian. I am a virgin, but have always, even since childhood struggled with having sexual thoughts, viewing ponography, etc. Now I struggle with masturbation and with viewing porn. Recently I became “friends with benefits” with a guy I know. We haven’t had intercourse, but we have done everything else…and it is possible that we may be having sex in the near future. I know that I can get myself out of this, but I don’t. Its like I want to do this, but I don’t want to want to??? I have never justified myself in what I am doing. I know it is not good for me, or for the guy - who is not a Christian and does not know that I am. But I still want to do this. I can’t help myself. I keep thinking, well what if I never marry? Then I would still want to know what sex is like…I live in Newfoundland and there are hardly any Christians here, let alone people I could speak to about this. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the consequences will be in the end…I could really use advice and prayer.
Hi, my boyfriend of four months recently broke up with about a month ago. I really thought that I was in love with him and we started to care for each other deeply for that short period of time. God has always been a strong part of my life. However, I think that I lost touch with God during this relationship. I ended up giving up my virginity to my ex and I have regretted it since then. My ex has recently moved on and is dating someone else. I know what I’m going through right now is a learning experience that God wants to me go through and grow from. How can I rebuild my relationship with God so He can help me to rebuild my life?
i think that it is very commendable what you guys have written. it is source of encouragement to me. please note that i am not happy because you failed. but i am happy that even after you failed you arouse. i remember suffering with the problem of masturbation ever since i was a child (8-9). and i battled with it until i was about 18.and i must say that it was not easy. there were days when i felt so guilty that i couldn’t stand myself. the truth is that we can overcome masturbation when we feed our minds with healthy things. i used to feed my mind with porn even as a young child. i want to say to ever one with this problem that you can’t rely on yourself to fix it you need God to help you. the truth is that i tried to fix it on my own many times but i only made it worst. trust in God He was able to help me overcome it and if i remember correctly He is still in the deliverance business.
I am a 19 year old girl whose faith is the most important thing in my life. However, the sin of masturbation has had a hold on me for a long time. It has come and gone, but I really desperately want to be free of it. I don’t have anyone in this new city that keeps me accountable for anything and it feels like I am alone in fighting this, especially since I am a girl and girls aren’t supposed to struggle with this. I want to stop. I want God’s love to be enough to make me stop, but I keep coming back to this.
Dear all who are suffering various kinds of sexual sins,
I know a web site dedicated to people like us:
http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/
They offer a 90 day Bible study for people to get freed from sexual sins and bondage. I personally have done the study and I’d highly recommend every Christian to try it out.
God bless.
My wife has recently as yesterday divorced me she is a believer it si part of her healing, it is un unusual circumstances as we do see each other and only 3 days ago spent a night together, we are both very compatible sexually so it is difficult for us to resist the temptation.
I will continue to wait and pray that one day she is ready to have a relationship and I will be the one she would contact
We are now committed not to do this and if we ever get together in future it will be based on God’s principles.
During our final stage of separation when my wife applied for divorce I have started to look at the future relationships to see if my heart is willing to look at any one else, this has led me to a webcam sites for casual relationship where my hormones kicked in and I had un pure desires to satisfy my needs with who ever was willing on the webcam chat line, fortunately Holy Spirit has convicted me and now I have a 1TH: 4:3-9 printed in front of my computer to remained me God’s way.
Please pray for us both thank you
Uri & Victoria
my boyfriend & i have been dating for 5 years.He asked me if I could strip. He dint force me. I want to know whether strippin is a sin?